Why Can't I Be Like Her?

It is Sunday afternoon at 2PM. My outfit of the day is a mismatched PJ set; my coffee laden with vanilla and whipped cream. I got out of bed about an hour ago, and am currently having the audacity to write about motivation while I struggle to find my own. Clearly I am not a professional on this topic - but I am beginning to question who really is. 

I have always wanted to be one of those obnoxiously motivated people. We all know the type - the ones who wake up at 5AM with their green smoothies, somehow find time to work a full 8 hour day, hit the gym, read their books and eat kale salads, all while looking like someone who stepped out of a Vogue magazine. I would flip through their Instagram feeds looking for the answers. How does someone like me become someone like them? Where do you find the motivation to want to do these things day after day? Can someone like me (who finds any excuse to sleep in and eat McDonalds) actually be able to live a lifestyle like that? 

Of cours

e these obnoxiously motivated people would tell me all it takes is a little self discipline and motivation. Set the alarm earlier. Take the time to meal prep. You have 24 hours in a day - the gym only takes 1. If you want to become a better version of yourself, you simply need to make it a priority. It’s easy. 

Yeah. Right. 

Self discipline and motivation can be a struggle. Instagram feeds and Facebook posts make it seem easy. 

Working out is difficult. Obesity is difficult. Choose your difficult. 

Push yourself because no one else is going to do it for you. 

Or my personal favorite: 

Just Do It (thanks Nike) 

The funny thing is, I believed in all these things - until I didn’t. While I would like to blame COVID for a lot - my lack of motivation can’t be entirely tied to a world pandemic. I stopped setting goals, stopped pushing myself, gave myself maybe a little too much grace. 

A little while ago, I asked close friends and family to answer a series of questions about how they saw me. While the exercise at the time had nothing to do with kick-starting my motivation, it certainly had that effect. Driven, relentless, passionate and willing to take risks. Honest and true to myself were just some of the answers. I was speechless. This is how I saw all those obnoxiously motivated people. Is this really what people thought of me?

It’s amazing what a reminder can do for your self-confidence and motivation. These words pushed me to complete my personal training certification. And while I am so excited to begin helping others, I have made one very conscious choice. 

I am NOT one of those obnoxiously motivated humans. You will NEVER see me awake at 5AM. I don’t love meal prepping (although I do it out of necessity at times). I will eat McDonalds if that is what I am craving. The majority of my days are spent in sweatpants and I am not a makeup wizard. I give myself probably more grace than I should - and I believe in that for my future clients. 

But flexibility must come with honesty. And while I embrace the challenges and know that I need to give grace when needed, this week may have been a bit more of: 

• eating McDonalds more times than I should

• Living in pajamas (jeans who?)

• skipping the gym more times than I actually went

• completely giving up on my own motivation

Something needs to change. 

So here I am. It’s now 3PM on a Sunday afternoon. I’ve been awake for two hours and yet somehow I am already ready for a nap. My coffee is long gone - and yet breakfast (or is it lunch at this point?) has yet to be consumed. I have the audacity to actually post about motivation when I am struggling to find my own. But I am making progress. 

Someone I follow on Instagram (yes one of those obnoxiously motivated types) has given me this inspiration. What are some (very small) weekly intentions? What I love so much about this is that these aren’t goals (that can be accomplished or fail miserably), rather intentions (things you want to accomplish but will understand if you don’t). I’ve set six small intentions for this upcoming week to help me build back the habits that I crave so much. 

And those questions I asked my friends and family (found here if you want the answers for yourself)? I think everyone needs to hear the answers to those from the ones they love. A change in perspective is sometimes all you need to bring that motivation back to the forefront. 

I may still be in my pajamas. But I am still moving forward (...starting Monday)